WE ARE ALL MEMBERS OF TWO HOURS BEFORE

Friday, September 18, 2009

Hi, am back from Nyeri and with a beautiful trophy too. Our CDF stand was the 2nd best Nationally, thus i literaly met the President.

Anyway, thats enough for the show, this weekend I am hosting one of Kenyas' newest humorist who is not published or read beyond his facebook notes or this blog. Paul Kibe- I read this piece of art and could hardly avoid sharing it out with my followers and visitors to this blog. He is certainly the new kid in the humor arena. Sample this......



ABEDNEGO

I salute all motor vehicle surgeons alias mechanics.It takes great courage and determination to attempt to resurrect dead automobiles.Being a proud owner of a car that is supposed to have rested in peace decades ago,trust me i know what i am talking about.
I remember vividly that fateful day when i acquired that piece of misery.Early in the morning before even money could open their eyes from the night's slumber,i strangled my bank account with the sole intention of buying safaricom shares.
As i queued waiting for my chance to be a shareholder while clutching my life's savings nervously,my throat suddenly felt like sand paper.I decided to obey my thirst first by rushing to the nearest Ruaraka watering hole for a swallow.
I had only taken a few rounds when my head started telling me things to the effect that a real shareholder doesn't attend annual general meetings in dusty shoes.In other words,my grey matter was asking me to acquire a logbook before owning a CDS account.
That unholy idea propelled me to the nearest car graveyard instead of Nyaga stock brokers' offices.Of course by that time i was seeing double.My hands were also like reeds on the steering while my feet felt like jelly on the pedals.
Now you understand why i anointed Abednego to help me chose a car that was not very dead.Though a stranger,his name suggested that he had a plan of meeting his maker one day.His oily outfit was also a clear indication that he had dissected many more dead automobiles.
Abednego who also doubled as a security consultant alias watchman seemed to know all the cars by their local and christian names.He was also conversant with all the ailments that had converted those lovely machines to past tense.

It took a few minutes for Abednego to lie his hands on a yellow coloured hybrid automobile. Without much ado,i exchanged my entire wallet for a tattered logbook.
I had hardly pocketed that piece of paper when Abednego started calling the engine a devil,the radiator a lucifer and the gearbox a shindwe.For three hours,he tried to bribe that image of a car to breath on its own to no avail.
Finally,he emerged from under the belly of my newly acquired wealth with a list of items i needed to purchase in order that he could discharge it from ICU.In other words,he was asking me to buy another new car to revive the old dead one!
Frustrated,i left it in the same position i had found it.I now visit it once a month to see if it has decided to stir from its coma or whether another foolish Kenyan has decided to bequeath my misery!


Have you loved this humor? Imagine this talent wasting away.....where are the publishers? Dont scout beyond "Two Hours Before" Email Peter Kibe


PAUL KIBE

THIS WORKS PUBLISHED ON THIS BLOG WITH KNOWLEDGE OF THE AUTHOR, REPRODUCTION IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED

2 comments:

  1. Hello and welcome. I saw you became a follower of my blog and it is wonderful to meet you. I always love it when readers either comment or begin to follow. That way I get to meet you, know who you are.

    I love to write poetry too....when I feel inspired.

    Dead cars, huh? :)

    PG

    ReplyDelete
  2. That was kind of funny but also earns some sympathy at the same time..
    too bad of us when we rush to do the things without reasoning-out!!!
    GOOD work,,,

    ReplyDelete

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